The Debt That I Owe

Singer songwriter Jackson Brown did a tune "Call it a Loan" years ago. He wanted to love not really giving his heart but instead loan it in case the deal went bad. "Can we call it a loan, and a debt that I owe, on a bet that I lost."

Sort of a clever way to sing it but doesn't have much to do with what's on my mind except the idea of giving what is due, what is owed. Ultimately we owe everything to God. I don't just mean our gratitude either. We really owe our hearts and lives.

But how about other people. Do you owe anyone anything. Or does anyone owe you anything at all? I don't mean in the instance where there are agreements or legal documents or transactions.

I just mean, is there an equal footing required in a relationship or friendship? Like if you are really open and honest or very sacrificial does that require the other to reciprocate?

I'm going to say that all things being equal, that's exactly how it should be. But in a fallen world and full of imperfect people and scenarios it will not much occur. Nor should it be expected in one sense. But the one on the risk-taking, open, trusting, sacrificial end might be singing with Brown at times. Putting yourself out there IS risky.

I see people hurt because they chose open,trusting, lay it all out there in heart and service for employment or relationship or even ministry and at the end of the day without proper perspective a person might feel like Brown. Lost the bet that it would go well.

So afterward a wounded individual might only loan, not give. They don't want the debt (hurt). They might not even make the bet anymore.

It's tough I think. But I want to be tough. I want to be willing to be under the scrutiny of another. Even after revealing everything, the thing at hand is worth the potential ache if it was worth it in the first place. Don't want to join Brown in the drowning sorrows of a brokenhearted lover, "Can we call it a loan, and a debt that I owe, on a bet that I lost." I've been given so much and deserve nothing.